


when the light hits your eyes, it's telling me I'm right

by StHarold



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: BRITS 2016, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 13:16:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6154926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StHarold/pseuds/StHarold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry wasn't allowed to attend 2016's BRITs and it's all too much</p>
            </blockquote>





	when the light hits your eyes, it's telling me I'm right

**Author's Note:**

> In order to get the right mood i'd recommend listening to Be Still by The Fray and Another Love by Tom Odell

This has been such a long day. It’s been approximately 498 hours since he woke up this morning, Louis thinks to himself. He’s experienced every single emotion in existence, tried on about a thousand different jackets (“You’re definitely gotta rock some glitter tonight” were the first words Harry said to him today and it’s not that he could disobey), spoken to every British celebrity you’ve possibly ever head of and tried every starter imaginable, let alone drunk about 20 different cocktails. As soon as he gets in his car, the only thing he can think of is his bed. Louis feels broken and wasted. 

\- Sir, so are we driving to Plaza? – his driver asks. 

Hell to the no, Louis thinks. He’s done with all the Plazas.

\- Uh, no, Steven. Take me to Hampstead, please.

The driver gave him a rather strange look, his glance reflecting in the rear-view mirror. The bitch is going to make a call to a certain someone named Simon, Louis knows it. But he doesn’t care anyway. Suddenly he felt that sleeping alone tonight would be the last straw for him. So Louis is headed to Hampstead and he isn’t going to text Harry, he’s coming unannounced. Either way, he has the keys. He actually has keys to every apartment Harry owns, and vice versa. “Sharing is caring” has always been running through their relationship. What’s yours is mine and mine is yours. It’s always been like that. 

As they start driving away from the O2, he can’t help smiling. The first thing they ever shared was a 1-pound bag of chips and now they share literally everything. Louis pulls out his phone and does a quick check on his social media. He types “Incredible night. Thank you so much for making it so special!” and hits “tweet”. Then he opens Instagram and lazily scrolls through the multiple posts. Then he sees it. The post Harry made thanking their fans for the award. The Scrabble board and the letters carefully arranged to compose a sweet message. One letter, however, was missing. The “H” letter. H was missing out. Louis felt his eyes stinging.

"Oh Haz", he whispers under his breath. He knows that he shouldn't get this sad over the thank you post but why does this feel like a kick in the stomach? The reason is probably that the picture outright screams "I wanted to be there, too. Instead I'm stuck home and I feel lonely". Louis can't get the image of Harry sitting alone in his living room putting the words together out of his head. He's known Harry for a long time now and he knows what it's like for him to feel alone. Harry is literally afraid of being alone. When he bought his first luxury apartment and moved in, it surprised him how lonely it actually felt to live alone. Back then, he used to crash at Louis', Nick's or Ed's for weeks, even having a couple of apartments of his own.

He fights back the urge to call Harry immediately, because he still wants to surprise his boo. But it's like the weight of the world is on his shoulders because nothing in this world bothers him more than his family's well being. And Harry is his family, too. 

The Brits was fun, but he missed Harry so bad and being constantly asked about his "newborn" didn't make it any better. It's not that he can't live without Harry being 24/7 by his side, because he learnt how to deal with it long time ago. It's that Harry always makes things so much easier and Louis sometimes finds himself struggling to function without him. Harry makes everything special. And when he's not around, it's like... You have been enjoying color TV and then suddenly it becomes black and white again; and you can still kind of watch the program but it's devoid of colors and the quality sucks. Same with Harry. It just sucks big time without him. 

Louis can't stop thinking about the stupid post. Harry's subtle loneliness came shining through, burning a hole in Louis' chest. Louis gets so lost in his thoughts that when he looks through the window, he figures that they will arrive in approximately 5 minutes. He feels his tiredness fading away but his heart still stinging. It's always been his responsibility to make Harry feel good, from the early X factor days, when Louis swore to himself that Harry will get hurt only over his dead body. And, though Louis' been failing his mission lately, this time he wants, he needs to make it right. The driver drops him off near the high brick fence surrounding Harry’s house. 

Louis has always liked it most for its huge windows and the light-colored interior. When you enter the house, it’s almost like there is a lot more oxygen than you actually need but it’s a pleasant feeling, as well as feeling safe and calmed, which being inside also provides. The design somehow reminds Louis of the little flat Harry and he used to share, with its walls painted white and slightly transparent curtains. 

Anyway, the lights in the house were all turned off and Louis felt a little stupid. Why on earth was he thinking Harry would still be up? But there was no way back since he had already sent Steven home. So he opened the door and sneaked in. It was dead quiet inside. As if nobody was home. Louis took his vans off trying not to make any sound whatsoever. As he was making his way through the dark hallway, he started hearing sounds of what he thought was the TV. As he was getting closer, the sound loudened. When he entered the living room, he found Harry curled up on the couch, but he could only see his curly head peeking out of the back of the couch. Louis’ presence still wasn’t prominent to Harry, so he kept watching whatever he had been watching before Louis came in. 

“ - So the ceremony is slowly drawing to its end and this year’s Brits, well, have been nothing but amazing. There IS going to be an afterparty and the most of this year’s nominees are attending. However, there are exceptions – Adele exclusively told us she’s not going since her whole family waits for her to be home to celebrate her award, including her little son. What a sweet mum she is! Too bad we’re not giving awards for great parenting… 

\- Right! If we did though, we’d just have to give it to Louis Tomlinson as well, since he just became a dad and from what he’s told us, he loves being one! I guess, this might be one of the reasons he called it a night this early today, too. He probably hurried home to sing a lullaby to his baby...

\- Aww! What… 

Louis wasn’t listening anymore. He watched Harry’s shoulders slightly shrug and the words just escaped his mouth. 

\- That’s exactly why I left. And before Harry had a chance to turn around, Louis came to the couch and hugged him from behind, kissing his curls and instantly feeling ten times better. 

\- Hi babe, - he whispered in his curls. 

Harry finally turned around and without even looking Louis in the eye, he leaned in to kiss him, which, quite frankly, caught Louis by surprise. The kiss was so desperate and felt like it’s been ages since they kissed last time. This was a long, a slow one and Louis even started running out of breath at some point. He broke their kiss and climbed over the couch to make it comfortable for them to snuggle. The light from the TV that Louis didn’t realize Harry had put on mute hit Harry’s face, and that’s when they locked their eyes. Harry’s reddened and swollen eyes were burning a hole in Louis’ face. Harry was a mess, but he was a beautiful mess nevertheless.

\- Thank you, - he said, his face unreadable. 

\- For?.. – Louis asked, slowly stroking Harry’s cheek.

The curly shivered at the touch and shook his head, his eyes watering. Then he wrapped his arms around Louis and they went silent for a while. Harry felt so warm in his arms, and the pounding of Harry’s heart made him feel like home. Different thoughts, a million of them, were crossing Louis' mind as they were melting in each other's arms. The TV was still on and the flickering light was irritating to his preoccupied mind, so he turned it off.

\- I don't know what I'd do without you, - Harry said after a long pause 

\- No, Harry, - he said calmly, - You'd probably be happy and not crying in the middle of the night, - Louis voice cracked mid-sentence 

\- Listen, Lou, - Harry leant back to look him in the eye, - why are you always blaming yourself for the things that are out your control? We've come too far to make sacrifices here. We both know it ends soon. And I'm sorry for my behavior if that's what makes you think of giving up. I know I haven't been of any use lately and, uh-

\- You've been great. You're always great, no matter what, - Louis said, feeling something inside of him breaking.

Harry's always doubted his own self-worth and it was heartbreaking to see him like this. Louis took a deep breath.

\- I missed you so much today, boo. 

Harry was borderline crying and shaking a little. And Louis couldn't stand to watch him falling apart right in front of him. It's always devastating to watch the strongest lose it. Harry is one of the strongest, he is the one to tell everybody that everything's going to be okay, that "you're doing great, keep going", that "you can make it for I believe in you". And when you realize that even someone so strong, so kind and all-loving like Harry, has a breaking point – that's when you stop caring about anything else in the world. Tonight, Harry was everything Louis cared about. A harsh thing to say, but Harry breaking down was quite a reminder for Louis of why he came here tonight in the first place. 

\- I'm a nobody without you by my side, Harry. I need you, always, and I'll always will, - he said, wiping Harry's tears away. 

His big green eyes were filled with so much love, that Louis felt a physical pain in his chest. He couldn't hold his gaze anymore so he started planting kisses all over Harry's face. His cheeks, eyes, lips, cheekbones, jawline, nose - everything; his movements were rushed, a little feverish even. Then he made a final stop, biting Harry's lips, and deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping into Harry's mouth. Harry was shivering, so Louis pulled him closer. The curly was moaning softly, absolutely lost in their kiss, forgetting about everything existing out of this room. The hands were exploring Louis's back and suddenly it felt like it was their first time. Like they were 16 and 18 again. Harry broke their kiss almost choking up on the air. 

\- I love you Lou, - he murmured, trying so hard to pull himself together. He was an unruly mess with all his feelings exposed, and everything Louis did made him want to cry, even if there was no reason. He closed his eyes and continued.

\- So much. Thank you for loving me back. No one ever loved me this much. I'm, uh, God- 

He never had a chance to finish, because Louis pulled him down for another feverish kiss, hands buried in his curls and bodies intertwined. The whole thing was somehow poignant yet almost necessary in terms of keeping alive. 

  


Later, Harry fell asleep with Louis hugging him from the back. They both were emotionally and physically drained, but Louis was still wide awake. He was lying there with Harry in his arms, feeling the warmth of his body slowly making him feel whole again. This is it. Harry is it. Louis couldn't help but wonder, again and again, how come that Harry had chosen him. Out of everyone - God, he could have anyone in the world - he had still chosen him. Louis felt so privileged to be chosen by the wonderful boy named Harry Styles, the boy with the heart of gold. A lonely tear rolled down his cheek, and he found himself whispering: "thank you". In this very moment he knew for sure, that **Harry's love was all he'd ever known**.  



End file.
